I Just Hired a 13-Week-Old, Partially Blind Cat Into My Accounting Firm

Before you report me to a regulatory body, hear me out.

• His name is Guido.

• He’s 13 weeks old.

• He’s partially blind.

• He has absolutely no accounting qualifications.

Naturally, I made him an employee.

Why Guido Got the Job

I run an accounting firm. I care about:

• Resilience

• Adaptability

• Attention to detail

• The ability to survive January

Guido demonstrated none of these.

His CV was thin. His references were non-existent. His interview technique involved biting my thumb and falling off the sofa.

But what he lacked in experience, he made up for in attitude. And confidence. Wild, unearned confidence. Frankly, he’ll fit right in with entrepreneurs.

Performance Review: Day One

Since joining the firm, Guido has:

• Sat directly on urgent client paperwork

• Closed three spreadsheets with his face

• Sent a half-written email reading: "gggggggggg;;;;;;;;;////"

  
  

We’re working on that.

His Official Role

Alongside Dingli, I have appointed him Head of Compliance & Chaos.

Key responsibilities:

• Stress-testing desk organisation

• Ensuring no pen goes unchewed

• Monitoring keyboard durability

• Providing emotional support during tax season