“VAT Is Not Your Money” – A Charli XCX-Inspired Guide to Not Accidentally Spending the Taxman’s Coins

If Charli XCX taught us anything, it’s that you can be main pop girl energy and still keep your finances tight. But let’s be real - sometimes you look at your business bank account, see all those numbers, and think, “Wow, I’m a financial icon.”Except… half that money is basically a taxman feature track.

Let’s talk about VAT - the remix no one asked for.

Track 1: “Vroom Vroom” (but slow down, it’s not all yours)

You just made a big sale. The cash hits your account, and you’re ready to go full “Vroom Vroom” on a new laptop, office snacks, maybe even that pink neon sign that says CEO Vibes Only.But hold up.A slice of that money - 20%, to be exact - isn’t yours. It’s VAT, aka “Value Added Tax,” aka the government’s feature on your revenue track.

You’re just holding it temporarily, like a pop star lip-syncing on Top of the Pops. It looks like yours, but it’s really not.

Track 2: “Used to Know Me (as someone who spent the VAT money)”

You used to know me as someone who dipped into the VAT account for “just one little expense.”Next thing you know, HMRC is asking where their 20% went, and you’re sweating like it’s Coachella main stage under a ring light.

VAT isn’t your tip jar.VAT isn’t your merch profit.VAT is the friend who insists they’re coming out for one drink but then asks for their £50 back at the end of the night.

If you want to stay stress-free (and audit-proof), open a separate account and park that VAT money there, like Charli parking a hit in the vault until album season.

Track 3: “365 (I keep forgetting VAT is due)”

VAT deadlines roll around faster than a surprise Charli single drop.Every three months, you’ve got to send HMRC their cut.Miss it, and you’re not in Hot Girl mode anymore - you’re in Penalty Fee (feat. Interest) remix mode.

So set a reminder, automate your bookkeeping, and don’t wait until the deadline to realise your “VAT fund” went into buying festival tickets and oat milk subscriptions.

Track 4: “Pop 2 (Percent of You Is Chaos)”

Running a business is chaotic. You’ve got clients, invoices, and spreadsheets that look like experimental art.

But the rule is simple:

👉 VAT is not profit.

👉 VAT is not cash flow.

👉 VAT is not a vibe - it’s a tax.

Be like Charli: always ahead of the curve, financially and sonically. Keep your VAT money where it belongs, and you’ll never have to explain to HMRC why your “business expense” is labelled “glitter cannon hire.”

Final Track: “Brat (Green Account, Clean Books)”

If your VAT is safely tucked away, your bookkeeping is on point, and you’ve filed on time - congrats, you’re officially in your Brat era: bold, disciplined, and unapologetically compliant.

Because being that girl in business doesn’t just mean having the best logo or socials.It means understanding that VAT was never your money - it was just passing through your account like a Charli bridge: iconic, but temporary.

TL;DR:

VAT = Not Your Money

You = Pop Star CEO

HMRC = Always Watching

Now go blast Brat and move that 20% into its own account - before the taxman drops the remix.